little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第224章
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himself dutifully to me。 He does to this hour。 With an empty place in
his heart that he has never known the meaning of; he has turned
away from me and gone his separate road; but even that he has done
considerately and with deference。 These have been his relations towards
me。 Yours have been of a much slighter kind; spread over a much shorter
time。 When you have sat at your needle in my room; you have been in fear
of me; but you have supposed me to have been doing you a kindness; you
are better informed now; and know me to have done you an injury。 Your
misconstruction and misunderstanding of the cause in which; and the
motives with which; I have worked out this work; is lighter to endure
than his would be。 I would not; for any worldly repense I can
imagine; have him in a moment; however blindly; throw me down from the
station I have held before him all his life; and change me altogether
into something he would cast out of his respect; and think detected and
exposed。 Let him do it; if it must be done; when I am not here to see
it。 Let me never feel; while I am still alive; that I die before his
face; and utterly perish away from him; like one consumed by lightning
and swallowed by an earthquake。'
Her pride was very strong in her; the pain of it and of her old passions
was very sharp with her; when she thus expressed herself。 Not less so;
when she added:
'Even now; I see YOU shrink from me; as if I had been cruel。'
Little Dorrit could not gainsay it。 She tried not to show it; but she
recoiled with dread from the state of mind that had burnt so fiercely
and lasted so long。 It presented itself to her; with no sophistry upon
it; in its own plain nature。
'I have done;' said Mrs Clennam;'what it was given to me to do。 I have
set myself against evil; not against good。 I have been an instrument
of severity against sin。 Have not mere sinners like myself been
missioned to lay it low in all time?'
'In all time?' repeated Little Dorrit。
'Even if my own wrong had prevailed with me; and my own vengeance had
moved me; could I have found no justification? None in the old days
when the innocent perished with the guilty 2 a thousand to one? When the
wrath of the hater of the unrighteous was not slaked even in blood; and
yet found favour?'
'O; Mrs Clennam; Mrs Clennam;' said Little Dorrit; 'angry feelings and
unforgiving deeds are no fort and no guide to you and me。 My life
has been passed in this poor prison; and my teaching has been very
defective; but let me implore you to remember later and better days。
Be guided only by the healer of the sick; the raiser of the dead; the
friend of all who were afflicted and forlorn; the patient Master who
shed tears of passion for our infirmities。 We cannot but be right if
we put all the rest away; and do everything in remembrance of Him。 There
is no vengeance and no infliction of suffering in His life; I am sure。
There can be no confusion in following Him; and seeking for no other
footsteps; I am certain。'
In the softened light of the window; looking from the scene of her early
trials to the shining sky; she was not in stronger opposition to the
black figure in the shade than the life and doctrine on which she rested
were to that figure's history。 It bent its head low again; and said not
a word。 It remained thus; until the first warning bell began to ring。
'Hark!' cried Mrs Clennam starting; 'I said I had another petition。
It is one that does not admit of delay。 The man who brought you this
packet and possesses these proofs; is now waiting at my house to be
bought off。 I can keep this from Arthur; only by buying him off。 He
asks a large sum; more than I can get together to pay him without having
time。 He refuses to make any abatement; because his threat is; that if
he fails with me; he will e to you。 Will you return with me and show
him that you already know it? Will you return with me and try to prevail
with him? Will you e and help me with him? Do not refuse what I ask
in Arthur's name; though I dare not ask it for Arthur's sake!'
Little Dorrit yielded willingly。 She glided away into the prison for a
few moments; returned; and said she was ready to go。 They went out
by another staircase; avoiding the lodge; and ing into the front
court…yard; now all quiet and deserted; gained the street。
It was one of those summer evenings when there is no greater darkness
than a long twilight。 The vista of street and bridge was plain to see;
and the sky was serene and beautiful。 People stood and sat at their
doors; playing with children and enjoying the evening; numbers were
walking for air; the worry of the day had almost worried itself out; and
few but themselves were hurried。 As they crossed the bridge; the clear
steeples of the many churches looked as if they had advanced out of the
murk that usually enshrouded them; and e much nearer。 The smoke that
rose into the sky had lost its dingy hue and taken a brightness upon it。
The beauties of the sunset had not faded from the long light films of
cloud that lay at peace in the horizon。 From a radiant centre; over
the whole length and breadth of the tranquil firmament; great shoots of
light streamed among the early stars; like signs of the blessed later
covenant of peace and hope that changed the crown of thorns into a
glory。
Less remarkable; now that she was not alone and it was darker; Mrs
Clennam hurried on at Little Dorrit's side; unmolested。 They left the
great thoroughfare at the turning by which she had entered it; and wound
their way down among the silent; empty; cross…streets。 Their feet were
at the gateway; when there was a sudden noise like thunder。
'What was that! Let us make haste in;' cried Mrs Clennam。
They were in the gateway。 Little Dorrit; with a piercing cry; held her
back。
In one swift instant the old house was before them; with the man lying
smoking in the window; another thundering sound; and it heaved; surged
outward; opened asunder in fifty places; collapsed; and fell。 Deafened
by the noise; stifled; choked; and blinded by the dust; they hid their
faces and stood rooted to the spot。 The dust storm; driving between them
and the placid sky; parted for a moment and showed them the stars。 As
they looked up; wildly crying for help; the great pile of chimneys;
which was then alone left standing like a tower in a whirlwind; rocked;
broke; and hailed itself down upon the heap of ruin; as if every
tumbling fragment were intent on burying the crushed wretch deeper。
So blackened by the flying particles of rubbish as to be unrecognisable;
they ran back from the gateway into the street; crying and shrieking。
There; Mrs Clennam dropped upon the stones; and she never from that hour
moved so much as a finger again; or had the power to speak one word。
For upwards of three years she reclined in a wheeled chair; looking
attentively at those about her and appearing to understand what they
said; but the rigid silence she had so long held was evermore enforced
upon her; and except that she could move her eyes and faintly express a
negative and affirmative with her head; she lived and died a statue。
Affery had been looking for them at the prison; and had caught sight
of them at a distance on the bridge。 She came up to receive her old
mistress in her arms; to help to carry her into a neighbouring house;
and to be faithful to her。 The mystery of the noises was out now;
Affery; like greater people; had always been right in her facts; and
always wrong in the theories she deduced from them。
When the storm of dust had cleared away and the summer night was calm
again; numbers of people choked up every avenue of access; and parties
of diggers were formed to relieve one another in digging among the
ruins。 There had been a hundred people in the house at the time of its
fall; there had been fifty; there had been fifteen; there had been
two。 Rumour finally settled the number at two; the foreigner and Mr
Flintwinch。 The diggers dug all through the short night by flaring pipes
of gas; and on a level with the early sun; and deeper and deeper below
it as it rose into its zenith; and aslant of it as it declined; and on a
level with it agai