little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第167章

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probable　that　I　shall　surprise　you　by　what　I　am　going　to　say。　What　I　am
going　to　say；　my　dear；　is；　that　notwithstanding　our　property；　we　labour；
socially　speaking；　under　disadvantages。　You　don't　quite　understand　what
I　mean；　Amy？'

'I　have　no　doubt　I　shall；'　said　Amy；　mildly；　'after　a　few　words　more。'

'Well；　my　dear；　what　I　mean　is；　that　we　are；　after　all；　newers　into
fashionable　life。'

'I　am　sure；　Fanny；'　Little　Dorrit　interposed　in　her　zealous　admiration；
'no　one　need　find　that　out　in　you。'

'Well；　my　dear　child；　perhaps　not；'　said　Fanny；　'though　it's　most　kind
and　most　affectionate　in　you；　you　precious　girl；　to　say　so。'　Here　she
dabbed　her　sister's　forehead；　and　blew　upon　it　a　little。　'But　you　are；'
resumed　Fanny；　'as　is　well　known；　the　dearest　little　thing　that　ever
was！　To　resume；　my　child。　Pa　is　extremely　gentlemanly　and　extremely　well
informed；　but　he　is；　in　some　trifling　respects；　a　little　different　from
other　gentlemen　of　his　fortune：　partly　on　account　of　what　he　has　gone
through；　poor　dear：　partly；　I　fancy；　on　account　of　its　often　running　in
his　mind　that　other　people　are　thinking　about　that；　while　he　is　talking
to　them。　Uncle；　my　love；　is　altogether　unpresentable。　Though　a　dear
creature　to　whom　I　am　tenderly　attached；　he　is；　socially　speaking；
shocking。　Edward　is　frightfully　expensive　and　dissipated。　I　don't　mean
that　there　is　anything　ungenteel　in　that　itself……far　from　it……but　I
do　mean　that　he　doesn't　do　it　well；　and　that　he　doesn't；　if　I　may
so　express　myself；　get　the　money's…worth　in　the　sort　of　dissipated
reputation　that　attaches　to　him。'

'Poor　Edward！'　sighed　Little　Dorrit；　with　the　whole　family　history　in
the　sigh。

'Yes。　And　poor　you　and　me；　too；'　returned　Fanny；　rather　sharply。

'Very　true！　Then；　my　dear；　we　have　no　mother；　and　we　have　a　Mrs　General。
And　I　tell　you　again；　darling；　that　Mrs　General；　if　I　may　reverse　a
mon　proverb　and　adapt　it　to　her；　is　a　cat　in　gloves　who　WILL
catch　mice。　That　woman；　I　am　quite　sure　and　confident；　will　be　our
mother…in…law。'

'I　can　hardly　think；　Fanny…'　Fanny　stopped　her。

'Now；　don't　argue　with　me　about　it；　Amy；'　said　she；　'because　I　know
better。'　Feeling　that　she　had　been　sharp　again；　she　dabbed　her　sister's
forehead　again；　and　blew　upon　it　again。　'To　resume　once　more；　my　dear。
It　then　bees　a　question　with　me　（I　am　proud　and　spirited；　Amy；　as　you
very　well　know：　too　much　so；　I　dare　say）　whether　I　shall　make　up　my　mind
to　take　it　upon　myself　to　carry　the　family　through。'　'How？'　asked　her
sister；　anxiously。

'I　will　not；'　said　Fanny；　without　ansit　to
be　mother…in…lawed　by　Mrs　General；　and　I　will　not　submit　to　be；　in　any
respect　whatever；　either　patronised　or　tormented　by　Mrs　Merdle。'

Little　Dorrit　laid　her　hand　upon　the　hand　that　held　the　bottle　of　sweet
water；　with　a　still　more　anxious　look。　Fanny；　quite　punishing　her　own
forehead　with　the　vehement　dabs　she　now　began　to　give　it；　fitfully　went
on。

'That　he　has　somehow　or　other；　and　how　is　of　no　consequence；　attained　a
very　good　position；　no　one　can　deny。　That　it　is　a　very　good　connection；
no　one　can　deny。　And　as　to　the　question　of　clever　or　not　clever；　I　doubt
very　much　whether　a　clever　husband　would　be　suitable　to　me。　I　cannot
submit。　I　should　not　be　able　to　defer　to　him　enough。'

'O；　my　dear　Fanny！'　expostulated　Little　Dorrit；　upon　whom　a　kind　of
terror　had　been　stealing　as　she　perceived　what　her　sister　meant。　'If　you
loved　any　one；　all　this　feeling　would　change。　If　you　loved　any　one；　you
would　no　more　be　yourself；　but　you　would　quite　lose　and　forget　yourself
in　your　devotion　to　him。　If　you　loved　him；　Fanny……'　Fanny　had　stopped
the　dabbing　hand；　and　was　looking　at　her　fixedly。

'O；　indeed！'　cried　Fanny。　'Really？　Bless　me；　how　much　some　people　know
of　some　subjects！　They　say　every　one　has　a　subject；　and　I　certainly
seem　to　have　hit　upon　yours；　Amy。　There；　you　little　thing；　I　was　only　in
fun；'　dabbing　her　sister's　forehead；　'but　don't　you　be　a　silly　puss；
and　don't　you　think　flightily　and　eloquently　about　degenerate
impossibilities。　There！　Now；　I'll　go　back　to　myself。'

'Dear　Fanny；　let　me　say　first；　that　I　would　far　rather　we　worked　for
a　scanty　living　again　than　I　would　see　you　rich　and　married　to　Mr
Sparkler。'

'Let　you　say；　my　dear？'　retorted　Fanny。　'Why；　of　course；　I　will　let　you
say　anything。　There　is　no　constraint　upon　you；　I　hope。　We　are　together
to　talk　it　over。　And　as　to　marrying　Mr　Sparkler；　I　have　not　the
slightest　intention　of　doing　so　to…night；　my　dear；　or　to…morrow　morning
either。'

'But　at　some　time？'

'At　no　time；　for　anything　I　know　at　present；'　answered　Fanny；　with
indifference。　Then；　suddenly　changing　her　indifference　into　a　burning
restlessness；　she　added；　'You　talk　about　the　clever　men；　you　little
thing！　It's　all　very　fine　and　easy　to　talk　about　the　clever　men；　but
where　are　they？　I　don't　see　them　anywhere　near　me！'

'My　dear　Fanny；　so　short　a　time……'

'Short　time　or　long　time；'　interrupted　Fanny。　'I　am　impatient　of　our
situation。　I　don't　like　our　situation；　and　very　little　would　induce
me　to　change　it。　Other　girls；　differently　reared　and　differently
circumstanced　altogether；　might　wonder　at　what　I　say　or　may　do。　Let
them。　They　are　driven　by　their　lives　and　characters；　I　am　driven　by
mine。'

'Fanny；　my　dear　Fanny；　you　knoake　you　the
wife　of　one　very　superior　to　Mr　Sparkler。'

'Amy；　my　dear　Amy；'　retorted　Fanny；　parodying　her　words；　'I　know　that　I
wish　to　have　a　more　defined　and　distinct　position；　in　which　I　can　assert
myself　with　greater　effect　against　that　insolent　woman。'

'Would　you　therefore……forgive　my　asking；　Fanny……therefore　marry　her
son？'

'Why；　perhaps；'　said　Fanny；　with　a　triumphant　smile。　'There　may　be　many
less　promising　ways　of　arriving　at　an　end　than　that；　MY　dear。　That　piece
of　insolence　may　think；　now；　that　it　would　be　a　great　success　to　get　her
son　off　upon　me；　and　shelve　me。　But；　perhaps；　she　little　thinks　how　I
would　retort　upon　her　if　I　married　her　son。

I　would　oppose　her　in　everything；　and　pete　with　her。　I　would　make　it
the　business　of　my　life。'

Fanny　set　down　the　bottle　when　she　came　to　this；　and　walked　about　the
room；　always　stopping　and　standing　still　while　she　spoke。

'One　thing　I　could　certainly　do；　my　child：　I　could　make　her　older。　And　I
would！'

This　was　followed　by　another　walk。

'I　would　talk　of　her　as　an　old　woman。　I　would　pretend　to　know……if　I
didn't；　but　I　should　from　her　son……all　about　her　age。　And　she　should
hear　me　say；　Amy：　affectionately；　quite　dutifully　and　affectionately：
how　well　she　looked；　considering　her　time　of　life。　I　could　make　her　seem
older　at　once；　by　being　myself　so　much　younger。　I　may　not　be　as　handsome
as　she　is；　I　am　not　a　fair　judge　of　that　question；　I　suppose；　but　I　know
I　am　handsome　enough　to　be　a　thorn　in　her　side。　And　I　would　be！'

'My　dear　sister；　would　you　condemn　yourself　to　an　unhappy　life　for
this？'

'It　wouldn't　be　an　unhappy　life；　Amy。　It　would　be　the　life　I　am　fitted
for。　Whether　by　disposition；　or　whether　by　circumstances；　is　no　matter；
I　am　better　fitted　for　such　a　life　than　for　almost　any　other。'

There　was　something　of　a　desolate　tone　in　those　words；　but；　with　a
short　proud　laugh　she　took　another　walk；　and　after　passing　a　great
looking…glass　came　to　another　stop。

'Figure！　Figure；　Amy！　Well。　The　woman　has　a　good　figure。　I　will　give　her
her　due；　and　not　deny　it。　But　is　it　so　far　beyond　all　others　that　it　is
altogether　unapproachable？　Upon　my　word；　I　am　not　so　sure　of　it。　Give
some　much　younger　woman　the　latitude　as　to　dress　that　she　has；　being
married；　and　we　would　see　about　that；　my　dear！'

Something　in　the　thought　that　was　agreeable　and　flattering；　brought　her
back　to　her　seat　in　a　gayer　temper。　She　took　her　sister's　hands　in　hers；
and　clapped　all　four　hands　above　her　head　as　she　looked　in　her　sister's
face　laughing：

'And　the　dancer；　Amy；　that　she　has　quite　forgotten……the　dancer　who　bore
no　sort　of　resemblance　to　me；　and　of　whom　I　never　remind　her；　oh　dear
no！……should　dance　through　her　life；　and　dance　in　her　way；　to　such　a　tune
as　would　disturb　her　insolent　placidity　a　little。　Just　a　little；　my　dear
Amy；　just　a　little！'

Meeting　an　earnest　and　imploring　look　in