little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第108章

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persuade　Mr　Clennam　to　stay　longer；　I　can　leave　the　honours　of　our　poor
apology　for　an　establishment　with　confidence　in　your　hands；　and
perhaps　you　may　do　something　towards　erasing　from　Mr　Clennam's　mind
the……ha……untoward　and　unpleasant　circumstance　which　has　occurred　since
tea…time。'

Clennam　assured　him　that　it　had　made　no　impression　on　his　mind；　and
therefore　required　no　erasure。

'My　dear　sir；'　said　the　Father；　with　a　removal　of　his　black　cap　and　a
grasp　of　Clennam's　hand；　bining　to　express　the　safe　receipt　of　his
note　and　enclosure　that　afternoon；　'Heaven　ever　bless　you！'

So；　at　last；　Clennam's　purpose　in　remaining　was　attained；　and　he　could
speak　to　Little　Dorrit　with　nobody　by。　Maggy　counted　as　nobody；　and　she
was　by。




CHAPTER　32。　More　Fortune…Telling


Maggy　sat　at　her　work　in　her　great　white　cap　with　its　quantity　of　opaque
frilling　hiding　what　profile　she　had　（she　had　none　to　spare）；　and　her
serviceable　eye　brought　to　bear　upon　her　occupation；　on　the　window　side
of　the　room。　What　with　her　flapping　cap；　and　what　with　her　unserviceable
eye；　she　was　quite　partitioned　off　from　her　Little　Mother；　whose　seat
was　opposite　the　window。　The　tread　and　shuffle　of　feet　on　the　pavement
of　the　yard　had　much　diminished　since　the　taking　of　the　Chair；　the　tide
of　Collegians　having　set　strongly　in　the　direction　of　Harmony。　Some　few
who　had　no　music　in　their　souls；　or　no　money　in　their　pockets；　dawdled
about；　and　the　old　spectacle　of　the　visitor…wife　and　the　depressed
unseasoned　prisoner　still　lingered　in　corners；　as　broken　cobwebs　and
such　unsightly　disforts　draggle　in　corners　of　other　places。　It　was
the　quietest　time　the　College　knew；　saving　the　night　hours　when　the
Collegians　took　the　benefit　of　the　act　of　sleep。　The　occasional　rattle
of　applause　upon　the　tables　of　the　Snuggery；　denoted　the　successful
termination　of　a　morsel　of　Harmony；　or　the　responsive　acceptance；　by
the　united　children；　of　some　toast　or　sentiment　offered　to　them　by　their
Father。　Occasionally；　a　vocal　strain　more　sonorous　than　the　generality
informed　the　listener　that　some　boastful　bass　was　in　blue　water；　or　in
the　hunting　field；　or　with　the　reindeer；　or　on　the　mountain；　or　among
the　heather；　but　the　Marshal　of　the　Marshalsea　knew　better；　and　had　got
him　hard　and　fast。

As　Arthur　Clennam　moved　to　sit　down　by　the　side　of　Little　Dorrit；　she
trembled　so　that　she　had　much　ado　to　hold　her　needle。　Clennam　gently
put　his　hand　upon　her　work；　and　said；　'Dear　Little　Dorrit；　let　me　lay　it
down。'

She　yielded　it　to　him；　and　he　put　it　aside。　Her　hands　were　then
nervously　clasping　together；　but　he　took　one　of　them。　'How　seldom　I　have
seen　you　lately；　Little　Dorrit！'

'I　have　been　busy；　sir。'

'But　I　heard　only　to…day；'　said　Clennam；　'by　mere　accident；　of　your
having　been　with　those　good　people　close　by　me。　Why　not　e　to　me；
then？'

'I……I　don't　know。　Or　rather；　I　thought　you　might　be　busy　too。　You
generally　are　now；　are　you　not？'

He　saw　her　trembling　little　form　and　her　downcast　face；　and　the　eyes
that　drooped　the　moment　they　were　raised　to　his……he　saw　them　almost　with
as　much　concern　as　tenderness。

'My　child；　your　manner　is　so　changed！'

The　trembling　was　now　quite　beyond　her　control。　Softly　withdrawing　her
hand；　and　laying　it　in　her　other　hand；　she　sat　before　him　with　her　head
bent　and　her　whole　form　trembling。

'My　own　Little　Dorrit；'　said　Clennam；　passionately。

She　burst　into　tears。　Maggy　looked　round　of　a　sudden；　and　stared　for　at
least　a　minute；　but　did　not　interpose。　Clennam　waited　some　little　while
before　he　spoke　again。

'I　cannot　bear；'　he　said　then；　'to　see　you　weep；　but　I　hope　this　is　a
relief　to　an　overcharged　heart。'

'Yes　it　is；　sir。　Nothing　but　that。'

'Well；　well！　I　feared　you　would　think　too　much　of　what　passed　here　just
now。　It　is　of　no　moment；　not　the　least。　I　am　only　unfortunate　to　have
e　in　the　way。　Let　it　go　by　with　these　tears。　It　is　not　worth　one　of
them。　One　of　them？　Such　an　idle　thing　should　be　repeated；　with　my　glad
consent；　fifty　times　a　day；　to　save　you　a　moment's　heart…ache；　Little
Dorrit。'

She　had　taken　courage　now；　and　answered；　far　more　in　her　usual　manner；
'You　are　so　good！　But　even　if　there　was　nothing　else　in　it　to　be　sorry
for　and　ashamed　of；　it　is　such　a　bad　return　to　you……'

'Hush！'　said　Clennam；　smiling　and　touching　her　lips　with　his　hand。
'Forgetfulness　in　you　who　remember　so　many　and　so　much；　would　be　new
indeed。　Shall　I　remind　you　that　I　am　not；　and　that　I　never　was；　anything
but　the　friend　whom　you　agreed　to　trust？　No。　You　remember　it；　don't
you？'

'I　try　to　do　so；　or　I　should　have　broken　the　promise　just　now；　when　my
mistaken　brother　was　here。　You　will　consider　his　bringing…up　in　this
place；　and　will　not　judge　him　hardly；　poor　fellow；　I　know！'　In　raising
her　eyes　with　these　words；　she　observed　his　face　more　nearly　than　she
had　done　yet；　and　said；　with　a　quick　change　of　tone；　'You　have　not　been
ill；　Mr　Clennam？'

'No。'

'Nor　tried？　Nor　hurt？'　she　asked　him；　anxiously。

It　fell　to　Clennam　now；　to　be　not　quite　certain　how　to　answer。　He　said
in　reply：

'To　speak　the　truth；　I　have　been　a　little　troubled；　but　it　is　over。

Do　I　show　it　so　plainly？　I　ought　to　have　more　fortitude　and　self…mand
than　that。　I　thought　I　had。　I　must　learn　them　of　you。　Who　could　teach　me
better！'

He　never　thought　that　she　saw　in　him　what　no　one　else　could　see。　He
never　thought　that　in　the　whole　world　there　were　no　other　eyes　that
looked　upon　him　with　the　same　light　and　strength　as　hers。

'But　it　brings　me　to　something　that　I　wish　to　say；'　he　continued；　'and
therefore　I　y　own　face　for　telling　tales
and　being　unfaithful　to　me。　Besides；　it　is　a　privilege　and　pleasure　to
confide　in　my　Little　Dorrit。　Let　me　confess　then；　that；　forgetting　how
grave　I　was；　and　how　old　I　was；　and　how　the　time　for　such　things　had
gone　by　me　with　the　many　years　of　sameness　and　little　happiness　that
made　up　my　long　life　far　away；　without　marking　it……that；　forgetting　all
this；　I　fancied　I　loved　some　one。'

'Do　I　know　her；　sir？'　asked　Little　Dorrit。

'No；　my　child。'

'Not　the　lady　who　has　been　kind　to　me　for　your　sake？'

'Flora。　No；　no。　Do　you　think……'

'I　never　quite　thought　so；'　said　Little　Dorrit；　more　to　herself　than
him。　'I　did　wonder　at　it　a　little。'

'Well！'　said　Clennam；　abiding　by　the　feeling　that　had　fallen　on　him　in
the　avenue　on　the　night　of　the　roses；　the　feeling　that　he　was　an
older　man；　who　had　done　with　that　tender　part　of　life；　'I　found　out　my
mistake；　and　I　thought　about　it　a　little……in　short；　a　good　deal……and　got
wiser。　Being　wiser；　I　counted　up　my　years　and　considered　what　I　am；　and
looked　back；　and　looked　forward；　and　found　that　I　should　soon　be　grey。　I
found　that　I　had　climbed　the　hill；　and　passed　the　level　ground　upon　the
top；　and　was　descending　quickly。'

If　he　had　known　the　sharpness　of　the　pain　he　caused　the　patient　heart；
in　speaking　thus！　While　doing　it；　too；　with　the　purpose　of　easing　and
serving　her。

'I　found　that　the　day　when　any　such　thing　would　have　been　graceful　in
me；　or　good　in　me；　or　hopeful　or　happy　for　me　or　any　one　in　connection
with　me；　was　gone；　and　would　never　shine　again。'

O！　If　he　had　known；　if　he　had　known！　If　he　could　have　seen　the　dagger　in
his　hand；　and　the　cruel　wounds　it　struck　in　the　faithful　bleeding　breast
of　his　Little　Dorrit！

'All　that　is　over；　and　I　have　turned　my　face　from　it。　Why　do　I　speak　of
this　to　Little　Dorrit？　Why　do　I　show　you；　my　child；　the　space　of　years
that　there　is　between　us；　and　recall　to　you　that　I　have　passed；　by　the
amount　of　your　whole　life；　the　time　that　is　present　to　you？'

'Because　you　trust　me；　I　hope。　Because　you　know　that　nothing　can　touch
you　without　touching　me；　that　nothing　can　make　you　happy　or　unhappy；　but
it　must　make　me；　who　am　so　grateful　to　you；　the　same。'

He　heard　the　thrill　in　her　voice；　he　saw　her　earnest　face；　he　saw　her
clear　true　eyes；　he　sa　that　would　have　joyfully
thrown　itself　before　him　to　receive　a　mortal　wound　directed　at　his
breast；　with　the　dying　cry；　'I　love　him！'　and　the　remotest　suspicion
of　the　truth　never　dawned　upon　his　mind。　No。　He　saw　the　devoted　little
creature　with　her　worn　shoes；　in　her　mon　dress；　in