little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第108章
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persuade Mr Clennam to stay longer; I can leave the honours of our poor
apology for an establishment with confidence in your hands; and
perhaps you may do something towards erasing from Mr Clennam's mind
the……ha……untoward and unpleasant circumstance which has occurred since
tea…time。'
Clennam assured him that it had made no impression on his mind; and
therefore required no erasure。
'My dear sir;' said the Father; with a removal of his black cap and a
grasp of Clennam's hand; bining to express the safe receipt of his
note and enclosure that afternoon; 'Heaven ever bless you!'
So; at last; Clennam's purpose in remaining was attained; and he could
speak to Little Dorrit with nobody by。 Maggy counted as nobody; and she
was by。
CHAPTER 32。 More Fortune…Telling
Maggy sat at her work in her great white cap with its quantity of opaque
frilling hiding what profile she had (she had none to spare); and her
serviceable eye brought to bear upon her occupation; on the window side
of the room。 What with her flapping cap; and what with her unserviceable
eye; she was quite partitioned off from her Little Mother; whose seat
was opposite the window。 The tread and shuffle of feet on the pavement
of the yard had much diminished since the taking of the Chair; the tide
of Collegians having set strongly in the direction of Harmony。 Some few
who had no music in their souls; or no money in their pockets; dawdled
about; and the old spectacle of the visitor…wife and the depressed
unseasoned prisoner still lingered in corners; as broken cobwebs and
such unsightly disforts draggle in corners of other places。 It was
the quietest time the College knew; saving the night hours when the
Collegians took the benefit of the act of sleep。 The occasional rattle
of applause upon the tables of the Snuggery; denoted the successful
termination of a morsel of Harmony; or the responsive acceptance; by
the united children; of some toast or sentiment offered to them by their
Father。 Occasionally; a vocal strain more sonorous than the generality
informed the listener that some boastful bass was in blue water; or in
the hunting field; or with the reindeer; or on the mountain; or among
the heather; but the Marshal of the Marshalsea knew better; and had got
him hard and fast。
As Arthur Clennam moved to sit down by the side of Little Dorrit; she
trembled so that she had much ado to hold her needle。 Clennam gently
put his hand upon her work; and said; 'Dear Little Dorrit; let me lay it
down。'
She yielded it to him; and he put it aside。 Her hands were then
nervously clasping together; but he took one of them。 'How seldom I have
seen you lately; Little Dorrit!'
'I have been busy; sir。'
'But I heard only to…day;' said Clennam; 'by mere accident; of your
having been with those good people close by me。 Why not e to me;
then?'
'I……I don't know。 Or rather; I thought you might be busy too。 You
generally are now; are you not?'
He saw her trembling little form and her downcast face; and the eyes
that drooped the moment they were raised to his……he saw them almost with
as much concern as tenderness。
'My child; your manner is so changed!'
The trembling was now quite beyond her control。 Softly withdrawing her
hand; and laying it in her other hand; she sat before him with her head
bent and her whole form trembling。
'My own Little Dorrit;' said Clennam; passionately。
She burst into tears。 Maggy looked round of a sudden; and stared for at
least a minute; but did not interpose。 Clennam waited some little while
before he spoke again。
'I cannot bear;' he said then; 'to see you weep; but I hope this is a
relief to an overcharged heart。'
'Yes it is; sir。 Nothing but that。'
'Well; well! I feared you would think too much of what passed here just
now。 It is of no moment; not the least。 I am only unfortunate to have
e in the way。 Let it go by with these tears。 It is not worth one of
them。 One of them? Such an idle thing should be repeated; with my glad
consent; fifty times a day; to save you a moment's heart…ache; Little
Dorrit。'
She had taken courage now; and answered; far more in her usual manner;
'You are so good! But even if there was nothing else in it to be sorry
for and ashamed of; it is such a bad return to you……'
'Hush!' said Clennam; smiling and touching her lips with his hand。
'Forgetfulness in you who remember so many and so much; would be new
indeed。 Shall I remind you that I am not; and that I never was; anything
but the friend whom you agreed to trust? No。 You remember it; don't
you?'
'I try to do so; or I should have broken the promise just now; when my
mistaken brother was here。 You will consider his bringing…up in this
place; and will not judge him hardly; poor fellow; I know!' In raising
her eyes with these words; she observed his face more nearly than she
had done yet; and said; with a quick change of tone; 'You have not been
ill; Mr Clennam?'
'No。'
'Nor tried? Nor hurt?' she asked him; anxiously。
It fell to Clennam now; to be not quite certain how to answer。 He said
in reply:
'To speak the truth; I have been a little troubled; but it is over。
Do I show it so plainly? I ought to have more fortitude and self…mand
than that。 I thought I had。 I must learn them of you。 Who could teach me
better!'
He never thought that she saw in him what no one else could see。 He
never thought that in the whole world there were no other eyes that
looked upon him with the same light and strength as hers。
'But it brings me to something that I wish to say;' he continued; 'and
therefore I y own face for telling tales
and being unfaithful to me。 Besides; it is a privilege and pleasure to
confide in my Little Dorrit。 Let me confess then; that; forgetting how
grave I was; and how old I was; and how the time for such things had
gone by me with the many years of sameness and little happiness that
made up my long life far away; without marking it……that; forgetting all
this; I fancied I loved some one。'
'Do I know her; sir?' asked Little Dorrit。
'No; my child。'
'Not the lady who has been kind to me for your sake?'
'Flora。 No; no。 Do you think……'
'I never quite thought so;' said Little Dorrit; more to herself than
him。 'I did wonder at it a little。'
'Well!' said Clennam; abiding by the feeling that had fallen on him in
the avenue on the night of the roses; the feeling that he was an
older man; who had done with that tender part of life; 'I found out my
mistake; and I thought about it a little……in short; a good deal……and got
wiser。 Being wiser; I counted up my years and considered what I am; and
looked back; and looked forward; and found that I should soon be grey。 I
found that I had climbed the hill; and passed the level ground upon the
top; and was descending quickly。'
If he had known the sharpness of the pain he caused the patient heart;
in speaking thus! While doing it; too; with the purpose of easing and
serving her。
'I found that the day when any such thing would have been graceful in
me; or good in me; or hopeful or happy for me or any one in connection
with me; was gone; and would never shine again。'
O! If he had known; if he had known! If he could have seen the dagger in
his hand; and the cruel wounds it struck in the faithful bleeding breast
of his Little Dorrit!
'All that is over; and I have turned my face from it。 Why do I speak of
this to Little Dorrit? Why do I show you; my child; the space of years
that there is between us; and recall to you that I have passed; by the
amount of your whole life; the time that is present to you?'
'Because you trust me; I hope。 Because you know that nothing can touch
you without touching me; that nothing can make you happy or unhappy; but
it must make me; who am so grateful to you; the same。'
He heard the thrill in her voice; he saw her earnest face; he saw her
clear true eyes; he sa that would have joyfully
thrown itself before him to receive a mortal wound directed at his
breast; with the dying cry; 'I love him!' and the remotest suspicion
of the truth never dawned upon his mind。 No。 He saw the devoted little
creature with her worn shoes; in her mon dress; in